Awakened

In the quietness of the night I hear my thoughts aloud
vying for the love I didn’t really feel I’ve had from you
In these shallow waters I try to drown myself but failed
for some reasons I can’t explain I feel defeated and ashamed
why does it hurt even when you haven’t really attached yourself with it
why does it feels so difficult when you detach yourself to it
In the stillness of the night I’m the only one left behind
forlorn and drowning in memories of the not so distant past
I didn’t know what to say or how to react to the shadows that lasts
I felt like it’s been a hundred years-the memories that hunts me overwhelms me
tonight I dream of you and I but only soon be aware that you wouldn’t be around
What have I to live for nor what have I to die then
In the sentiments of my wandering soul ignites the fiery thought that still lasts
I would dream of the bond that we shared-you and I
We do belong in each other’s arms but none of the dreams we’ve shared
would ever come alive if you won’t even care even now
And thus the light in my darkness I would never see again
in this senseless world I withdrew myself from and feared
hoping I awaken in the other end and find the happiness I longed so dear
would there be such thing or none, whatever it is I wouldn’t care for now
I think this is what I was long to do ever since, be alone in this world of guilt
who cares now anyway, a river of tears wouldn’t work as it did before
It’s different now, this time of agony – senseless I become, too numb to feel
as I come close tonight, I can no longer feel
the love we shared nor the love I’ve longed to give
It comes nearer now, the rain would surely be gone in a while
This is not goodbye because I never thought it would end this way

but it would surely be when you won’t ever cross my way-forever.

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